What Is Herpes?

Herpes simplex virus (HSV) is a lifelong virus that causes painful sores, usually around the mouth or genitals. There are two main types:

• HSV-1: Typically causes oral herpes (cold sores)
• HSV-2: More commonly causes genital herpes

But the lines blur. HSV-1 can cause genital infections through oral sex, and HSV-2 can — though rarely — infect the mouth or lips through oral-genital contact. Both types are contagious, often silent, and very common.

Herpes spreads through skin-to-skin contact, including kissing, oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, and even genital rubbing. You don’t need to have visible sores to spread it.

Herpes is not dangerous for most people, but it can be physically and emotionally difficult. The first outbreak tends to be the most intense, and future outbreaks may come and go. Antiviral medications can help manage outbreaks and lower the chance of passing it on.

HSV-1 vs HSV-2: What’s the difference?

• HSV-1 usually affects the mouth and lips (cold sores), but can also cause genital herpes
• HSV-2 is usually found in the genital area and is more likely to recur
• Both types are nearly identical in how they spread and behave — but HSV-2 tends to cause more frequent genital outbreaks

How common is herpes?

Very. According to the CDC:

• About 50% of U.S. adults have HSV-1 (oral herpes)
• About 12% of U.S. people aged 14–49 have HSV-2 (genital herpes)

Most people don’t know they have it, because symptoms can be mild or totally absent.

What Are Symptoms of Herpes?

Most people with herpes have mild symptoms or no symptoms at all — especially after the first outbreak. That’s one reason it spreads so easily: you can pass it on even if you don’t know you have it.

When symptoms do show up, they usually appear 2 to 12 days after exposure. The first outbreak is often the most painful.

In people with female biology:

• Tingling, itching, or burning in the genital area
• Painful blisters or sores on the vulva, vagina, cervix, or anus
• Pain when peeing
• Flu-like symptoms during first outbreak: fever, swollen glands, fatigue

In people with male biology:

• Sores or blisters on the penis, scrotum, thighs, buttocks, or anus
• Itching or tingling before blisters form
• Pain with urination (if sores are near the urethra)

In anyone:

• Cold sores (usually from HSV-1) on or around the mouth
• Genital sores from either HSV-1 or HSV-2
• Burning, pain, or tenderness before blisters appear
• Sores typically crust over and heal within 2–4 weeks

Can I have herpes and not know it?

Yes. Most people with herpes never have noticeable symptoms. Or they may mistake them for something else — like razor burn, ingrown hairs, or a yeast infection.

How can I tell if it’s herpes or something else?

You can’t know for sure without a test — and even then, it depends on the type of test.

If you have sores, a swab can tell whether it’s HSV-1 or HSV-2. That also tells your provider whether it’s more likely to recur, and whether it’s oral or genital (depending on the location).

If you don’t have visible symptoms, a blood test can tell if you’ve ever been exposed to either type. But it can’t tell where the infection is — and it’s possible to have both types without knowing. That’s why follow-up testing and open conversations with providers matter.

What Does Herpes Look Like?

Herpes symptoms can look different for everyone. Some people get a single sore, while others get clusters of painful blisters. The location of the sores often depends on where the virus entered the body.

Cold sores (oral herpes)

• Red, swollen area that turns into a blister or group of blisters
• Crusts over into a scab and heals in 1–2 weeks
• Usually appears on the lips or around the mouth

Genital herpes

• Painful, fluid-filled blisters on the genitals, anus, buttocks, or thighs
• Blisters break and become shallow ulcers before scabbing
• First outbreaks may be widespread; later ones are usually milder and shorter

Herpes doesn’t usually cause white, pus-filled pimples or deep ulcers unless infected with bacteria. If you’re unsure, see a provider for diagnosis.

How Is Herpes Transmitted?

Herpes spreads through direct skin-to-skin contact, especially when the virus is active.

You can get herpes from:

• Kissing (oral herpes)
• Oral sex (transmits HSV-1 or HSV-2 to genitals or mouth)
• Vaginal or anal sex
• Genital rubbing or skin contact

You can pass herpes even when you don’t have symptoms — this is called asymptomatic shedding.

Can you get herpes from a toilet seat?

No. Herpes doesn’t survive on surfaces and isn’t spread through toilets, towels, or hugging.

Do condoms protect against herpes?

Condoms lower the risk but aren’t perfect. Herpes can live on areas not covered by a condom, like the base of the penis, vulva, or inner thighs.

Who’s most likely to get herpes?

Anyone who’s sexually active can get herpes. It’s more common in people assigned female at birth and in people with multiple partners who don’t use condoms consistently.

How Do You Test for Herpes?

Diagnosing herpes isn’t always straightforward — especially if you don’t have symptoms. If you do have sores, your provider will likely take a swab. If you don’t, a blood test might be used to look for past exposure. Each method has its strengths and limitations.

If you currently have symptoms, a provider can do a swab test of the sore. That sample is sent to a lab to confirm whether you have HSV-1 or HSV-2. A PCR test may also be used — it’s more sensitive and can detect even small amounts of the virus’s DNA.

If you don’t have visible symptoms, the only option is usually a type-specific blood test that checks for HSV antibodies. These antibodies show whether your immune system has been exposed to HSV-1 or HSV-2 at some point — but they can’t tell you where the infection is in your body, or how recent it was. It also takes time for these antibodies to appear, so a very recent infection might not show up.

Swab and PCR tests are highly accurate if a sore is present. Blood tests are trickier. False positives and false negatives are possible — especially for HSV-1, since many people have oral herpes but may not recall ever having a cold sore. That’s part of why herpes testing is nuanced.

What about at-home herpes tests?

Some home STI test kits now include herpes antibody testing, using a small finger-prick blood sample. These can offer privacy and convenience, but they come with the same challenges as in-clinic blood tests — including potential for misinterpretation or anxiety without context.

Why don’t doctors routinely test for herpes?

Most healthcare providers don’t include herpes in standard STI panels unless you ask or have symptoms. Reasons include:

• There’s no cure — so a positive result doesn’t always change management
• Many people have herpes without knowing and never need treatment
• False positives are relatively common, especially for HSV-1, and may cause unnecessary distress

Still, herpes testing can be useful — especially if you’ve had a partner test positive, have symptoms, are pregnant, or simply want clarity for peace of mind.

How Is Herpes Treated?

There’s no cure for herpes, but antiviral medications make it very manageable. These medications can help reduce the severity and duration of outbreaks, lower the risk of passing the virus to others, and ease the mental burden of not knowing when symptoms might appear.

The most commonly used medications are acyclovir, valacyclovir (Valtrex), and famciclovir. You don’t have to take them forever — but they’re there when you need them.

Two ways to use herpes medication:

• Episodic therapy means taking medicine only when you feel an outbreak coming on. This can shorten the healing time and reduce pain or itching.
• Suppressive therapy involves taking a low dose every day, which helps prevent outbreaks altogether and lowers the risk of giving herpes to a partner — even when you feel fine.

Most people find that outbreaks happen less often and are milder over time. Some eventually stop having outbreaks entirely.

Complications of Herpes

Herpes isn’t dangerous for most people, but it can cause complications in certain cases:

• Neonatal herpes: If a person with active genital herpes gives birth vaginally, the baby could be infected. C-sections are often recommended if there are sores at delivery.
• HIV risk: Having herpes increases the risk of getting or transmitting HIV, because herpes sores provide entry points for the virus.
• Psychological impact: The emotional toll of herpes is often greater than the physical. Stigma, shame, and fear can be intense — even though herpes is common and manageable.

Outlook & Prognosis

Herpes is a lifelong virus, but it’s not a life sentence. Most people go on to have full, healthy sex lives and relationships.

• Outbreaks tend to get less frequent and milder over time
• Suppressive therapy can reduce outbreaks and transmission
• Many people never have a second outbreak after their first

There’s no cure — yet. But research is ongoing, including vaccine trials and therapeutic treatments. For now, managing herpes means staying informed, taking meds if needed, and communicating with partners.

Living With Herpes

The hardest part of herpes is often the stigma, not the virus. Herpes is extremely common. It doesn’t make you dirty, unworthy, or undatable.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed when you’re first diagnosed. But you’re not alone. Many people have herpes and go on to have relationships, families, and fulfilling sex lives.

If you have herpes:

• Learn what triggers outbreaks (stress, illness, friction)
• Keep your immune system healthy
• Use medication if it helps
• Join support communities — online or in person

Herpes doesn’t define you. It’s something you manage — not something you are.

How to Tell Your Partner(s) You Have Herpes

Telling someone you have herpes can feel terrifying. But it’s also a powerful act of trust and respect. Many people will respond with care — especially when you explain it clearly and confidently.

Start by knowing what kind of herpes you have, and where it tends to show up. That context helps both of you understand what to expect.

If you have oral herpes (HSV-1)

You can say:

“I get cold sores sometimes — it’s a form of herpes that’s really common. It usually shows up on my mouth. It’s something I manage, and I just want to be honest about it.”

Oral herpes is so widespread that most people either have it or have kissed someone who does. But it’s still worth sharing — especially if kissing or oral sex is involved.

If you have genital herpes (HSV-1 or HSV-2)

You might say:

“I want to let you know I have genital herpes. It’s really common, and it’s something I manage with medication. I don’t have symptoms most of the time, and I know how to reduce the risk of transmission.”

Make it clear that:

• Herpes is common — 1 in 8 adults has genital herpes
• It’s manageable — daily meds or occasional treatment are effective
• You’re being proactive — you care about their health, too

Reassure them that herpes doesn’t change your value — and that most people with herpes go on to have relationships, sex lives, and families just like anyone else.

You deserve relationships built on honesty — and herpes doesn’t change that.

Last reviewed: May 2025
This content is regularly reviewed and updated to reflect the latest medical guidelines.

 qf_causedby: Virus (Herpes simplex virus – HSV-1 and HSV-2)

 qf_transmission: Skin-to-skin contact during oral, vaginal, or anal sex; kissing; genital rubbing

 qf_symptoms: Often none; may cause painful blisters or sores on the mouth or genitals

 qf_testmethod: Swab or PCR of sore, blood test for antibodies, clinical exam

 qf_treatable_curable: Not curable, but manageable with antiviral medication

 qf_risk_untreated: HIV risk, neonatal herpes, emotional distress, partner transmission

 qf_usa_burden: ~12% of U.S. people aged 14–49 have HSV-2; ~50% have HSV-1 (CDC)